Happy New Year! The one thing about a new year it gives you an opportunity for a new start.

Ok, let’s be honest, you can have a new start anytime you wish, but a new year gives you a little extra push toward making it happen.

If you are reading this when we released it, or if you are reading this during the first week of January, then you will see all the gym and diet ads all over social media and television.

Why? Because we are all looking for a new start. We all want some change in our life and the new year gives us a reason to begin that journey.

We live in a society of instant results. Because of this, we will see the gyms flood with people for about 3 weeks… Then they will be empty by the fourth week.

Why? Instant results.

I want to challenge your thoughts while reading this. Instead of instant results, think instant action.

Action is what brings real results.

So let’s talk about some action items you can start today to bring some real, immediate, results to your marriage!


Talk openly and honestly with your spouse about your expectations of each other. Communication is key to having healthy boundaries in a marriage.

So many times we have things pre-planned in our head, and when things don’t go as we thought they would, we get upset at our spouse. Unfortunately, this is way more common than it should be.

When Kristy and I first started dating, I just assumed our kids would like each other and be best friends. Umm, no, that is not what happened… at all!

It took years for our kids to like each other, and now, my oldest and her oldest are like best friends! It only took 11 years.

Because of this expectation, it caused a lot of arguments and a lot of stress that could have been handled so much better early on.

Set your expectations with things that are stressing you out. Talk it out with each other and let each other know what you thought or what you hope things would be like. Do this today!


Take responsibility for your own feelings. Don’t blame your partner for your emotions and feelings.

Ok raise your hand if you have done this recently.. (ehem or even today..)

Man, this is soooooooo easy to do with your spouse!

“When you’re in a bad mood I am in a bad mood, this is your fault!”

I know when I am sick, our entire house is thrown off. I set the emotional tone for the house. At the same time, if Kristy comes home in a bad mood I need to put myself in check and not “go quiet” because of her emotions.

You need to take responsibility for your own emotions. God has called us to be one but that doesn’t mean blame your poor ability to control your emotions on your spouse. Step up and take that responsibility. Do this today!


Be willing to compromise. A healthy marriage requires compromise and understanding from both partners.

Give in people! You are on a team for goodness’ sake! Stop trying to win every argument or be right all the time.

When you do this, your marriage loses. Understand that compromise can transform a marriage into a real partnership.

Kristy and I have gotten to an almost unhealthy level of compromise. We see who can comprise the most. It’s almost comical at times.

We can see when the other “really” want their way. When this happens, it’s game on. The compromise battle has begun!

We do this because we are massively competitive but mainly because we really want the other to win.

Compromise shows your willingness to sacrifice for your partner.

Go to your spouse today and compromise by letting them win. If you do, you both win. Do it today!

Start the year off right by taking massive action and strengthening your marriage today.

Remember, God loves you and we love you…

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About the Author Josh

Defending those that can't. Loving the difficult. Serving the one true God.

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