January 9, 2023
minutes reading time

It is so easy to get all caught up in the practical things we need to do to make our marriages better. We need them, we do.

We all want the “3 steps to a perfect marriage” sent to our email so we can read it and solve our marriage issues today. I am here to tell you, it just simply doesn’t work that way.

It reminds me of the “take this pill and lose 40 pounds” ads we are seeing everywhere right now since it’s the beginning of January. The crazy part is that these pills probably have something that works.

But not on their own. You will not lose that 40 pounds by just taking the pill. If you already bought some of the said pills, sorry for bursting your bubble. No worries, keep the pills and apply what I am going to share today for actual results.

Ok, so what do you need to make a difference in your marriage even if you have the practical stuff to work on?


Don’t close your browser window just yet, follow me on this one.

Many books that you read about self-improvement all start out with getting your mind right. Why is that?

The mind is one of the most overlooked powers you have. It can take you places you never thought were possible… good and bad.

I want to share 3 simple things you can start doing today that can help your mindset and your marriage.


When I first sobered up almost 14 years ago I had to change everything. My job, and my friends, even changed the furniture around in my house.

Why? Because it exposed me to a habit of negative thinking. This led me to negative beliefs, which led me to negative actions.

How much do you monitor the things that your eyes, ears, and mouth have that go in and out of them? Music? Movies? Food? Alcohol? Drugs?

Our mind is just a filter for what we allow it access to.

Kristy and I years ago got convicted of watching movies that had nudity in them. We both began feeling very uncomfortable when these scenes came on. We decided that this negative exposure was damaging our relationship, one little bit at a time.

So, we gave it up. We now search for movies on IMDB and look up the “Parents’ Guide” before we watch them. This tells us exactly what or if there is any nudity in the movie.

Safeguard your mind by eliminating negative exposure.


Are your friends constantly talking bad about their spouses? Do you have family that talks badly about your spouse?

Time to trim the fat. If you expect your marriage to grow in the way you hope for, you must make some hard sacrifices. This includes friends that may be altering your mind in the way you view your spouse.

Get friends that actually like their spouse. I know this seems silly, but you know the type. Always moaning and groaning that their spouse is lazy, stubborn, or whatever. This will wear on your mindset about your spouse. It will begin to put doubts and negative views in your way.

Drop the negative people and pick up some who love their spouse out loud.


Looking for your mind to be completely renewed? Well, step into the book written by the one who created you, and then pray like crazy!

So often we miss the way to encourage our minds the most, God’s Word. Many times I have people say to me “I don’t know where to start in the Bible”. S

Start with where you are struggling the most in your thoughts. Look up Bible verses that relate to whatever that struggle is, then pray on those verses to impact your thoughts.

Once you have some prayer life down that you are talking to God about helping your mindset and your marriage, grab your spouse. Time to pray with them!

Marriage is the most important relationship we have here on earth. Are you doing everything in your power to make it better?

Start with your mindset. Getting your mind right will allow you access to following the practical steps to fixing almost anything in your marriage.

Remember, we love you and God loves you.

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About the Author Josh

Defending those that can't. Loving the difficult. Serving the one true God.

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