Mother’s day can be a difficult day for stepmoms for a multitude of reasons. For me, Kristy, it’s because I don’t have a relationship with my mom. In the church world we celebrate all the housework that moms do (which I don’t because that is Josh’s responsibility and mine is a corporate job), or there are no stepmoms mentioned from the church stage to be celebrated.
When it came to holidays, this was another one that we needed to figure out just like Christmas!
Being a bio mom and step mom it brings a little bit of a balancing act with our family. My step kids are with their mom on Mother’s day – so we try to celebrate the day before.
We go do something “big” with our whole family that I want to do. Then on the actual day we usually do something small like go out to dinner or something with my kids.
This is going to look differently depending on your family dynamics. Some moms allow the step mom to have a portion of the day. Some families will celebrate it in a completely different month! The point of this time is to develop something that you can celebrate that will not bring any added stress or divisions in your home ☺
Check out an interview with me – from last year – A stepmoms perspective
Mom or Mother in law? This may be something that you don’t even think about when you are preparing to blend, I know that we didn’t! How does your spouse’s side of the family celebrate this holiday? For Josh and I, it was a bit different. My mom lives in a different state AND we haven’t spoken in years.
When I had kids of my own, the day revolved around me – we went up and visited my (at the time) mother in law when we could. Josh’s family all went to their moms on that day and celebrated with her.
This caused some issues with us ESPECIALLY now because we were blended and we had to try to balance the step kids schedule too. Again, there is no right or wrong here, figure out what works best for your family and go with that. ☺
Check out our episode – What to do before blending
You may struggle with thoughts of “is this MY day” and whether or not to celebrate on the actual day. When Josh and I first got together I was really upset about the way that I was expected to spend my mother’s day!
Well, God began to work on my heart and Josh’s heart and to get me to understand that family is very important. I wasn’t raised with tight knit family bonds so this was all new to me and it forced me to work with God to unwind all the selfishness that had become of me just being able to schedule all the holidays around me – I played a part in all of it.
This was good for me to “share” the time/days and made me a more loving person all the way around.
You could check out the episode – The Power of compromise
How is Mother’s day for you and your family? Have you come up with things that work or is it still a day of turmoil? We would love to hear from you. ☺
Check out this episode where we talked about Mothers day from my perspective. I am shocked we haven’t spoken on mother’s day or father’s day before!
Mother’s day – a stepmoms perspective
Remember we love you…God Loves you..