What does it look like when your marriage is not fair?
I don’t know about you but my husband helps me to be a better person all. the. time.
I had foot surgery a couple weeks ago and have been non-weight bearing or partial weight bearing.
My husband has had to step up and drive me to work in the morning and pick me up in the evening, along with pick-ups and drop offs for any practices that we have. Not to mention he has had to pick up the household chores that I normally do on top of keeping up with all of his normal ones.
My husband does all of this without a single complaint or mention of irritation. He has to do almost everything for me at home because it has been so hard for me to get around.
This made me think of some things:
This too shall pass
Keep the bigger picture in mind. It is easy for us to get caught up in the here and now and to start to get a negative attitude about the “load” we have to tow while our spouse is down and out. Make sure your spouse knows that you are there for them and with them and that it’s okay.
Josh does so much already around the house and with me having surgery and not being able to be weight bearing at all made it so that I couldn’t drive either. He was taking me to work, picking me up from work, and taking on all the laundry. Not to mention the little trips here and there that spouses can usually “divide and conquer” all fall on his shoulders.
But, what has been amazing for me during all of this is that Josh doesn’t complain at all. He makes me feel better about being unable to help. He gave me permission to not beat myself up.
Communication is key
If you have a particularly busy schedule (like we do) talk about what could get put off and what has to get done. Just because one of you is unable to help for a couple weeks does not mean that you don’t go through your schedule. Talk about what can get rescheduled and what can’t.
When it came to this surgery I was way over-zealous. I had interviews scheduled to be on our podcast 4 days after my surgery. Josh left them until after my surgery and said “I am rescheduling these.”
Which I was then in agreeance with. Before the surgery I was saying I would be fine and everything could be normal. Boy was I wrong! Josh went through our schedule and rescheduled the things that could be rescheduled.
Enlist your community
If you need help with doing errands and taking your kids places don’t be too proud to reach out and ask for help. Your friends and family that are closest to you, want to help you when you are in need.
In fact most people that care about you get offended when they find out that you have been struggling and didn’t ask! Reach out to them and just see if they can help at all. 🙂 Your community is key!
The day of my surgery, Graden also needed to get picked up from band camp that was an hour and half away. Josh could not go pick him up when he had to take me home from the hospital. We picked him up every year and this was his senior year. Well, talking to my best friend – she offered to go pick him up. On that day she actually took her step-son with her and went and picked him up and took them to dinner for us!
Remember we love you…God Loves you!