January 16, 2023
minutes reading time

If only life could be simple, straightforward forward, and predictable. Let’s get real, it is not any of that.

Actually, it seems that when life is going well for us, our spouse is having a rough time, and vice versa.

How do you support your spouse when things get hard – because they will? Is what you’ve been doing, working? How do you know?

These are the questions you need to ask yourself when your spouse is struggling. Are they struggling with:

  • Death of a loved one
  • Work issues
  • Physical issues
  • Or something else

Today I will list 3 ways you can support your spouse in a way that serves them best.


Yep, you saw that one coming, didn’t you? It always comes down to communication.

Have you asked your spouse how they need to be supported? Most of us spend so many years with our spouses that we just assume that we know what they need.

This is a major mistake in marriage. Never assume. Our needs can change and if you assume you know, you most likely will not be supporting your spouse in the way they need it most.

This will lead to your spouse thinking you don’t care. Which most times is not the case at all.

Don’t assume, ask.

Be Present

Being aware that you have a lot going on and that you can still press the pause button, is vital to supporting your spouse.

As a guy, I had to figure out through lots of trial and error that my wife almost always just wants me to be “with her” when she’s going through something.

Nothing tells our spouse we care more than us pressing the pause button on what we have going on so we can support them in their time of trial. Take time off of work. Cancel those plans with your family or friends. Rearrange your schedule.

These things matter because it is telling your spouse you are willing to sacrifice your time to be available for them.

Be A Team

The key to marriage is having an understanding that you are both in it together. If one is struggling, it affects the team. You can always see a struggling marriage because each person is living their life like they are a team of one.

When you are living your life day in and day out in a way that only affects yourself, you are not living a life like you have a teammate in marriage.

There are times in marriage when you pass each other in the hall like two ships passing each other at night. Avoiding talking about the hard stuff. Not wanting to share your struggles because you don’t want them to share theirs.

I promise you this is the fastest way to a marriage that won’t last.

Teammates know and understand that when one is struggling, the team is too.

Treat your spouse like a teammate and let them know you are in and part of whatever is going on. You are part of their struggle and you want to be part of them rising above it.

Remember, God loves you and we love you.

About the Author Josh

Defending those that can't. Loving the difficult. Serving the one true God.

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